There is a special kind of frustration that happens when you create a system…

And it works beautifully.

Until you’re tired.

Until someone is sick.
Until you didn’t sleep.
Until you’ve repeated yourself seventeen times.
Until the dishwasher breaks.
Until you are running on fumes and caffeine and sheer willpower.

And suddenly the system that was “supposed to fix everything” feels useless.

If you’ve ever thought:

• Why can’t we just stick to this?

• Why does this only work when I have energy?

• Why does everything fall apart the minute I’m exhausted?

I want you to hear this clearly:

It’s not because you’re bad at systems.
It’s because most systems are built for your best days — not your tired ones.

And I know what you’re going through because I have been there, too.
And sometimes, I still am.

The Truth About Why Systems Fail

Most productivity advice is created by people imagining their “ideal self.”

You know — the version of you who:

• Wakes up before the kids.

• Has a full meal plan.

• Preps tomorrow the night before.

• Uses a beautiful planner.

• Has patience in abundance.

But real life?

Real life looks like:

• Falling into bed too late.

• Waking up already behind.

• Negotiating over socks.

• Breaking up wrestling matches.

• Trying to think clearly while your brain feels foggy.

Systems fail when they require:

• Too many steps

• Too many decisions

• Too much emotional regulation

• Too much perfection

Exhaustion doesn’t kill good intentions.
It kills complexity.

And most systems are too complex for tired brains.

The Mental Load Problem No One Talks About

When you’re exhausted, your brain shifts into survival mode.

You stop thinking strategically.
You start reacting.

Instead of:

“What’s our plan for the evening?”

It becomes:

“Just get through bedtime.”

Instead of:

“Let’s follow the routine.”

It becomes:

“Why are we still awake?”

When I had five kids under ten (yes — 2, 4, 6, 8, and 10 at one point 😅), I tried so many systems.

Some of them looked beautiful on paper.

But if I had to:

• Explain it again

• Enforce it heavily

• Remember five extra steps

• Or emotionally carry the entire thing

It collapsed the minute I was tired.

Which, if we’re honest, is most days.

What Actually Works When You’re Exhausted

Here’s the shift that changed everything for me:

Don’t build systems for your best self.
Build them for your most tired self.

That means:

1. Fewer Words, More Visuals

If I have to talk a lot, the system will fail.

Visual cues reduce reminders.
Visual schedules reduce arguing.
Clear, repeatable structure reduces decision fatigue.

When the plan is visible, I don’t have to carry it in my head.

2. Remove Extra Decisions

If a system requires choice after choice after choice…

It will die on a Tuesday night.

Exhaustion and decision-making do not mix.

Instead of:
“What should we do next?”

Make it:
“This is what we do next.”

Simple.
Predictable.
Repeatable.

3. Build a “Minimum Version”

This one is huge.

Every system needs:

• A full version (when you have energy)

• A minimum version (when you don’t)

For example:

Full bedtime routine:

• Bath

• Books

• Tidy

• Journals

• One-on-one time

Minimum bedtime routine:

• Teeth

• Bathroom

• In bed

That’s it.

Minimum viable routine saves you from system collapse.

The Real Fix: Stop Asking “What’s the Whole Plan?”

When you’re exhausted, you don’t need a 10-step framework.

You need one clear next move.

This is exactly why I created the Next Best Step webpage.

Not because I think moms need another giant system.

But because sometimes when you’re overwhelmed, the only thing you can think is:

“I don’t even know where to start.”

And when your brain is fried, even choosing the first step feels heavy.

The Next Best Step tool helps you narrow everything down to:
One small, doable action.

Not the whole staircase.
Just the next step.

And sometimes that’s enough to shift the entire evening.

The Emotional Layer (The Part We Don’t Say Out Loud)

Here’s the deeper truth.

When systems fail, we don’t just feel frustrated.

We feel like we failed.

We think:

• “Why can’t I keep this together?”

• “Other moms make this look easy.”

• “Maybe I’m just not disciplined enough.”

But exhaustion is not a character flaw.

It’s a capacity issue.

And capacity changes daily.

You are not meant to operate at full optimization 24/7.

You are a human raising humans.

That is already a full load.

What To Try Tonight

If you’re tired right now, don’t rebuild your entire life.

Just try this:

1. Ask: What is the next best step?

2. Lower the bar to “minimum version.”

3. Say fewer words.

4. Repeat the same simple structure tomorrow.

That’s it.

No overhaul.
No new planner.
No personality transplant required.

You’re Not Failing — You’re Just Tired

If your systems feel like they only work when you’re energized…

That’s your sign they need simplifying.

Not abandoning.
Simplifying.

And if tonight all you can manage is one small step toward calm?

That still counts.

I know what you’re going through because I have been there, too.
And sometimes, I still am.

You don’t need a perfect system.

You need one that works on your worst day.

And we can build that — one small step at a time.

If you're looking for help setting up routines, you can also check out my Routine Template Pack. It makes setting up a visual routine (currently set up for morning, after school, before or after dinner, and bedtime) easy and quick (In less than 5 minutes, I created some new routines for my pre-teen boy, now that he needs deodorant reminders daily 😅 ).